study sesh

mornings mawnday - thurdaze

my study sessions consist of my laptop, my 10lb review book, flashcards, ipod and sunflower seeds. i study @ this hole in the wall library & i digggg it. im distracted easily so my silence is golden. i was eating sunflower seeds the other day to stay awake while takin a test & this lady kept staring @ me. now im really not sure if she was mad because of the annoying cracking sound i was making while eating the seeds or maybe she was hungry and wanted me to offer her some. what u think? aniwais, im just gonna shutup & concentrate, concentrate.....

think it, say it, [to] DO it

"people who say what they think and then do what they say normally get what they want out of life." -kanyeezy west.
its crunch time. my great TO DO list will be taken in effect. i can fuckin do it. i want it so bad i can taste it. someone told me i would dominate this test. & i know i will. thank you. i still believe in you.

study. eat. study. shit. study. sleep. study. study. study. eat. study. study. shit. study. study. sleep. study. study. study. study. blog. study. study. nap. study. zombie. study. study. study. study. study. study. study. study. blog. study. study. study. study. DOMINATE.

you get the jist. i know myself this is what i have TO DO.

ps. dont worry i wont forget to take some more shits.

study yo ass off...

...is one of the motivational sayings i have put up in my room as well as conveniently posted on my desktop background. my other little notes say, "BE CONFIDENT. BE POSITIVE. DONT GIVE UP. I WILL BE SUCCESSFUL." i didnt want to get all tony robbins and shit but you gotta do what you gotta do. the power of positivity seems to be just some subliminal psychobabble shit that new age people are into. but with the stressful reality of my test, i think this heightened level of optimism will be my redemption. and believe me it aint easy to be positive, confident, or stay focused. its mind over matter. and this test is getting the best of me. i feel like i've been paralyzed for the longest time. like i perpetually have a chip on my shoulder. i hate feeling uneasy and this is something i've had to deal with for months now. the bullshit of this test is annoying. 4 years of labor intensive nursing school to have everything amount to in one test??? wtf. who made up those rules? who's to say that this one test accurately measures my competency as a nurse??? i dont think so. sucks balls man. i prefer to be extremely private about the details of my test. im just like that. "i'll never telllll" i've noticed however, that no one's been bugging me bout it. which either means that everyone has ASS-u-me-d i've taken it and failed and have not asked me out of politeness or people have gotten the picture and realized i will only spill the beans until i have passed. but whatever. dont pity me, i hate that shit. they can think whatever they want. but, uh, back to the lecture at hand... "perfection is perfected, so i'm 'a let 'em understand"

this is the longest blog of my life. venting has stopped. im here to say that im being positive much to my dismay. a positive anything is better than a negative nothing. im not taking the easy way out and feeling sorry for myself. but im gonna be strong. i have the heart for it and im gonna kick this test in the ass. and WHEN I PASS, i will let you kno when the party is as promised. remember there will be a party. oh yes, there will be a party. im feeling good vibes. its fuckin on. aniwais, on one of my study dates at barnes and noble in the americana i looked out the window and saw this:

sets the mood. although, i always feel like im in pleasantville everytime i go to the americana.