all of thee above

wish me luck.

jacked

simply put but harder to follow. i think #10 is a must.

here we are again. 2:50 am. my blog is my only constant @ this time of nite/morning (whichever you prefer). i seem to have a battle with falling asleep these past nights and insomnia is kickin my ass. i cant articulate right now. i have all these things i want to say but i dont want to complain anymore. i hate how i feel when i do. its so unattractive and unpleasant. so instead i will formulate my own list of life lessons:

CINDY'S LIFE LESSONS
1. Treat others the way you want to be treated; the GOLDEN rule always reigns supreme.
2. Don't talk shit; more importantly dont get caught.
3. Get used to getting used. (totally jacked from kanye but sooo true. if you're not useful you're USELESS.)
4. Have consideration for other people; rude people are so fuckin annoying.
5. Believe in yourself; confidence is key.
6. Let it go. let the bad shit go. "bag lady you goin hurt your back, draggin all those bags like that."
7. Mean what you say; real talk is powerful. words hurt more than sticks & stones.
8. Aim high. ambition is sooooooo attractive.
9. Love is inevitable. (ok i stole that one from that chick from the movie Paper Heart. i have yet to experience IT but im a believer).
10. Dont let opportunities pass you by; CARPE DIEM.
11. Try new things; the same routine gets stale.
12. Love wholeheartedly. the half-assed shit gets you no where.
13. Take a chance. you never know.
14. Have no regrets. regrets are killers.
15. Sing out loud. esp @ kareoke bars.
16. Rock your lashes. eyelashes that is. real or fake.
17. Fall 7 times get up 8. shit happens dust yourself off and try again.
18. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. Depression is exhausting.
19. Live in the moment. dont mess it up w/worrying about the past or future. "the present is a gift and i just wanna be."
20. Learn from your mistakes. Dont make the same mistake twice or thrice. "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."
21. Practice humility. Humble pie is not the best flavor but is the best teacher.
22. Give more than you take. Generosity is contagious; shiestyness is ugly.
23. Surround yourself with positivity. positive people, positive thoughts, positive environment. good vibes = good times.
24. Always laugh out loud.
25. Take pictures. lots and lots of pictures.

kinda got carried away. i could keep going if i wanted to. but 25 for all the years i've been alive =)

FULL house

whatever happened to predictability?

predictability is a bitch. thats wassup. everywhere i look...there's a heart? a hand to hold on to..... hahaha. you know i had to. BUT lately my life kinda sorta feels like FULL house. NOOOOT. well minus uncle jesse & his mullet, no rippers, no "you got it dudes," no "have mercy!!," no "how rudes," no "cut-it-outs" w/joey doing those corny hand gestures & danny tanner aint giving us a lesson in morality (ya know when they play that instrumental touchy feely music @ the end of every episode). hahahaha. but its just funny when u think about it. like why the fuck am i comparing my life to a sitcom? becuz you have to laugh off life, thats why. in so many words, shit kinda hit the fan. but you just have to make do; in my case, it's making do w/familiar faces en mi casa. it could be way worse right? at first it was interesting, then comical & took some time to get used to. but actually, i'll admit that the situation is kinda comforting (maybe a m&m's worth, tho). personal space may be a little bit harder to find but home is where your heart is. & my <3 is bunking w/carol. she said that one day we would have a good hard laugh about this; we we're "older." but what can you do? such is life. i have nooooo complaints tho [well you know what i mean]. miss positive tells me that this was a blessing in disguise if you want the silver lining. i guess i believe this because despite all the chaos plus being the biggest distraction to date, i've managed to see it as my biggest motivation. gotsta keep on keepin on. the words, "it was meant to be" seem fitting right now. ANIWAIS, on a way lighter note, i fucking loved this show. who the hell didnt? member T.G.I.F on ch.7? that was the shit right there. miss that. but i wanted to share this wit cha. [i want to make clear that i did not make this]. but ya, i thought fo sho mk+a would be top dog, check out tito jesse though. the mullet reigns supreme. so so zexy.

diy

im anxious right now. but family guy is making it go all away. aniwais, i've had the weirdest dreams lately. like weird crazy shit that would probly never happen in real life. or could they? the contents of the dreams dont make any sense and are too stupid to even share. but they were those dreams where you wish you could keep sleeping to see what would happen next but you somehow wake up cuz life is just that fair. ya know? watever. but im getting into a mojo right now. meaning my confidence in my brain power is building. i pat myself on the back. in the meantime, to help motivate me i will close my eyes and dream of life post test after i've passed then i'll be exactly happy, unicorns flying, shitting glitter, smiling for no reason kinda happy. cant wait. hahaha.
i think i can, i think i can... ;)

miss january

i learned a lesson in life from miss january...

i love that song btw. i just thought it would be fitting since ya kno. january always flies by. its the month that always escapes me. but this january 09 rivals no other. there's just been one thing after another after another and i could barely collect my own thoughts. its kinda mindnumbing. its like just when i think i have my life figured out something retarded/sad/unexpected pops up. i mean im tryin to look at it as part of the master plan where all these instances are designed to interrelate somehow. but i get it, life's hard man. "you realize that life isn’t some elaborate stage play with directions for the actors. life's a mess, sara, its chaos personified." haha, where's that from? aniwais, all i can do is stay up and im tryin my best to see the glass third full ok ok i'll give it half. BUUUUT there have been many pros that have helped to outweigh the cons. i learned that my family's blood is thicker than water, i have the bestest guardian angel ever, family fun fatty day's should happen way more often, i was schooled in the true shades of friendships and the pièce de résistance was....this deserves a drum rollll...the birthday shabangbang of one of my favoritist aquarians, thats right it aint january til its ms. colin shinns birfday bash.

HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY, C-SQUAD!!!

i love looove looooove this girl. one of the best persons i've ever known w/the biggest heart. we go waaay back. she's seen me at my best, worst and in between. thank you for everything. but there is one special bond that i hope will never fade; that is: the love for the G-SPOT. hahaha. get ya mind outta the gutter, not what you think pervs, but its for us to know & you to find out suckas. bottom line is happy birday c-squad i kno its a lil bit late but i know you understand cuz you a good friend like dat.

oh and before i continue the urbndick tells us:

hahahaha. now who would give that definition a thumbs down?
anyhoo here is the pictorial view of an aquarius' birthday:

medusa's lounge
(before the sweat)

that mocha crunch was good, i look evil

there's no place like...

love ya girls, good call on il ristorante.

fly or die

dear LORD, make me a bird, so i could fly far, far far away from here...


now im not one to run away from my problems, i couldnt if i tried. i dunno. im just distracted. and not in a good way. not in a fun way where youre thinkin about a boy or preoccupied w/the night's social activities. and not in a "im worried about my future way" where im stressing about my dreaded NCLEX test. [ok maybe im kinda distracted by some of those things]. but i just feel uneasy. normally i could just shake it off but its not that simple this time. there's this ripple effect thats taking place. i dont know how much more vague i could be about this situation and still vent about it. but you know me, i treasure my privacy as you all should. but i'll tell you one thing, BIGGIE was right: its like the mo money we come across the mo problems we see. hahahaha. true though. i know its just gonna take time. time will be the healer or destroyer...we will see.

aniwais, somedays like today i sit and wish it was like this. when i rocked my pig tails and cheryl rocked her fro. ...not a care in the world.


my 1st trip to disneyland? i think we're sitting on main street, waiting for the parade to start. thats the 4 y/o me and manang cheryl. i dont know why my parents taught me to call her "manang" as if she was decades older than me. life wouldve been easier if they taught me to call her "ate." but they didnt. now sometimes i call her "manang" and she cringes becuz she hates that. the story behind that is in grade school, (i was in kindergarten, cheryl was in 2nd grade) my grandpa was picking us up from school, i yell at the top of my lungs across the playground to my sister where she was hanging out w/her cool older friends, "manang!!! grandpa's here!!!!" and all her friends start clowning on her calling her "manang" too. i didnt kno how much chaos that was gonna cause. i was young and didnt know the rules of "cool" yet. but it made for a good memory.

got til its gone

don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's--GONE. joni mitchell neva lies.


sometimes bad things happen to good people. there's no rhyme or reason. shit just happens. like when people lose their house and belongings in a fire. personally, im no where near the vicinity of that emotional pain but it just drives my point. the trick: to not fall into the trap of self-pity asking, "why did this happen to me?" the true test is what you do when life hands you lemons: are you gonna surrender to the pressure? or are you gonna paint shit gold? easier said than done, uh yeah. but only the strong survive. suffice it to say something bad happened. bad enough that we had to call the 5-O. very unfortunate, yes. but it couldve been worse. it forces you to realize the value of everything you have and re-evaluate what actually has worth.

we're gonna rise above and soldier on cuz life's too short...
it starts off w/a healthy point of view: [take your pick]

penny for your thoughts

"can i offer you a penny for your thoughts?
as a matter of fact, how about three?..."

i've been thinking...i dont know, a lot of things. life has been craaaaaaazy lately. i like that. dont kno wat to expect, it keeps me on my toes. here is one thought: simply put, life is what you make it. words for everyone to live by. i kno its one thing to write it or say it and another to actually shut up and put my money where my mouth is. honestly, i am trying my hardest. it is a muthafuckin challenge, no doubt, but im up for it.

after recently conversating with one my best good friends, there was one thing they said that could not escape me: "be a better person than you were yesterday." i really liked that. it was honest, simple and inspiring. it just says it all.

and with that, good nite.