there is always hope

im sittin next to my windowsill. on my side of the bed. its cold. the night sounds peaceful & i love it.

i've been getting a funny feeling lately. not exactly a cute one but a weird one? i cant put my finger on what it is but my gut is telling me that life & all of its idiosyncrasies are unfolding. all these things i've only imagined before are actually starting to manifest & i need to take it all in wholeheartedly. its scary and exciting. i dont wanna fuck it up so im scared. its a waiting game of hits and misses. but the greater the risk the greater the reward. i still cant explain this weird funny feeling tho. its indescribable. but for now i'll stay grateful. for everything. the good & the bad. because i heard em say, people in your life are seasons and everything that happens is for a reason. i truly believe timing is everythang...

in the meantime, banksy says there is always HOPE.

jacked

simply put but harder to follow. i think #10 is a must.

here we are again. 2:50 am. my blog is my only constant @ this time of nite/morning (whichever you prefer). i seem to have a battle with falling asleep these past nights and insomnia is kickin my ass. i cant articulate right now. i have all these things i want to say but i dont want to complain anymore. i hate how i feel when i do. its so unattractive and unpleasant. so instead i will formulate my own list of life lessons:

CINDY'S LIFE LESSONS
1. Treat others the way you want to be treated; the GOLDEN rule always reigns supreme.
2. Don't talk shit; more importantly dont get caught.
3. Get used to getting used. (totally jacked from kanye but sooo true. if you're not useful you're USELESS.)
4. Have consideration for other people; rude people are so fuckin annoying.
5. Believe in yourself; confidence is key.
6. Let it go. let the bad shit go. "bag lady you goin hurt your back, draggin all those bags like that."
7. Mean what you say; real talk is powerful. words hurt more than sticks & stones.
8. Aim high. ambition is sooooooo attractive.
9. Love is inevitable. (ok i stole that one from that chick from the movie Paper Heart. i have yet to experience IT but im a believer).
10. Dont let opportunities pass you by; CARPE DIEM.
11. Try new things; the same routine gets stale.
12. Love wholeheartedly. the half-assed shit gets you no where.
13. Take a chance. you never know.
14. Have no regrets. regrets are killers.
15. Sing out loud. esp @ kareoke bars.
16. Rock your lashes. eyelashes that is. real or fake.
17. Fall 7 times get up 8. shit happens dust yourself off and try again.
18. Be happy. Do what makes you happy. Depression is exhausting.
19. Live in the moment. dont mess it up w/worrying about the past or future. "the present is a gift and i just wanna be."
20. Learn from your mistakes. Dont make the same mistake twice or thrice. "fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me."
21. Practice humility. Humble pie is not the best flavor but is the best teacher.
22. Give more than you take. Generosity is contagious; shiestyness is ugly.
23. Surround yourself with positivity. positive people, positive thoughts, positive environment. good vibes = good times.
24. Always laugh out loud.
25. Take pictures. lots and lots of pictures.

kinda got carried away. i could keep going if i wanted to. but 25 for all the years i've been alive =)

summer vs autumn

FINALLY!!!

i thought i was the only person who didnt watch this movie. i was thisclose to watchin it by myself (ya thats how much i've been wanting to watch this). but easily one of my favorite movies this year. i already own the dvd, i just have to buy it when it comes out.


"next time you look back, i think you should look again..."

state of mind

screw that kanye/taylor swift drama, this shoulda been the highlight of the night. although lil mama was drinking some crazy shit & crashed the party at the end. crazy bitch this aint america's best dance crew! BUT jigga man you did it again. on point as always & kept it real. you made me have an empire state of mind;

"concrete jungle where dreams are made of...
those lights will inspire you...."

Jay-Z - New Music - More Music Videos

virgo sistah

carley my love,


happy happy birthday. happy 25th!!
girl, there are not enough words to say how much i miss you. but i wanted to let you know that absence definitely makes the heart grow fonder. not that i dont love you enough. i just wanted to wish you the bestest bestest in life cuz i know you deserve it girl. i still look back @ all of this & cant believe it but i really believe that things happen for inexplicable reasons. one day when we're old & gray we'll laugh about this. hahaha. sometimes i think that youre a phone call away & we could meet up @ the americana ;) but believe me when i say that canada is soooo lucky right now :) mark my words i will make it up there by the end of the year or sometime in winter. i promise. pinky swear. but aniwais, i hope you enjoy your day girl. miss our goodtimes, our talks, our dinners, & of course most of all you. im here if you need anything cuz i know you always got my back. love & miss ya more than you'll ever know my virgo sistah. can u believe we're 25 now? haha. oh how time fliesssss ;)

carla, ms bacon if yur nastyyyyyy

happy bday bacon!!!!
i know this pix is an oldie but a goodie. i kno i look a fool but its a cute candid of you =)
i got cha anytime girl.
i always associated september 1st w/the 1st day of school & always dreaded it, but now its a cause for celebratin your life girl. i kno that sounded soooo corny but i mean it yo. hope you have a great one cuz i know the bday love came early this year & will keep on comin :) luv ya.

let the good times rolllllll

my tipsy ass. nuff said.

celebrations have commenced. i did the disneyland bday thang, got piss ass drunk all while in denial of my bad case of bronchitis. helllllooooo nurse! im such a badass. all the drinkin & smokin just exacerbated my symptoms. my chest hurts from all the coughin but its was all worth it. as dan tells me, "let the good things happen to you." & that i will. im just gonna keep ridin this wave & lettin the good times rolllllllllllllllllllllllll.

0.25

ok so today is my 25th bday. hell fuckin ya.
i promised myself not to get all emo about turning a quarter century old. every other person turning 25 seemed to be ridin the emo bug. but i dunno its not like im turning 30. im still young & feel like my life is jus bout to start like REALLY start. soooooo i decided as a way to CELEBRATE my 25 years, i would compile this random collection of thangs about myself. some may be dumb & useless but all theyre all true & unique to yours truly.

"allow myself to introduce....myself."

1.) i have the hugest hatred/aversion to KETCHUP.
dont ask why i just do. (oh & yes i've tried it)
2.) my celebrity crushes are ryan reynolds & james franco.
3.) i used to play the piano when i was in elementary school; i wish i still did.
4.) i really want to get another tattoo.
i dont know of what or where quite yet but something good.
5.) i love the smell after you've freshly lit a match.
6.) right now in this present time, if i wasnt a RN (registered nurse)
i would be probably have gone into interior design. but who knows? i still dream.
7.) i am a self diagnosed insomniac.
i could stay up all hours of the night no problem. im crazy like that.
i guess i always have things/people on my mind. ya ummhmm.
8.) my nickname my family gave me when i was younger was numsi (noom-see)
its from the movie, "the golden child"
if you're as old school as me you've seen it and know what im talkin bout.
9.) im a hard core rapper mc. but only in my car when im by myself or when carol catches me.
10.) there was a point in time (ie high school) i would only wear blue or gray contacts.
11.) i know FRIENDS the series inside & out. quote lines w/carol all the damn time. i dont care, i LOVE that show.
12.) my drug of choice is caffeine but i abuse crushes.
13.) you know im really buzzzzzzed when i start tearing up, i dont know why?
14.) i love a really good bargain:
im always hittin up garage sales, thrift stores and swap meets.
15.) ima really good painter but i wish i was a talented artist.
16.) i like to bake; my speciality is cupcakes :)
17.) thursday is my most favoritist day.
18.) if i could be anywhere right now, i'd wish i was on the shores of THAILAND.
19.) pho is probably my numba 1 comfort food right now.
20.) i kinda like the whole arm tattoo thing on guys.
21.) i have a really mean widow's peak.
i used to hate it a LOT & was thisclose to shaving it off but i didnt.
22.) i loooove cereal. probably the only good thing about the morning. even tho i could eat it for lunch & dinner.
23.) i used to hate how my bday was in summer & @ the very end of august because everyone would forget about it
24.) my summer 09 song is BEST I EVER HAD.
know all the words by heart. ya i said it.
25.) i wear my heart on my sleeve, you just cant see it most of the time.

& one mo for the road: you know goodluck for next year...
26.) i have everything you could ever ask for, except the one thing i really want.

victoryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

i passed my muthafuckn boards!! i am now officially an registered nurse!! oh em geeeeee. i have no words. im just very very grateful. arent u proud? the letters RN never looked so good. now its time for a mental vacay which is so well deserved...

i was kinda thinkin somethin like this mas o menos...

this was me....then

m.issing i.n a.ction

ok so im baaaaaack. kinda. i cant fully let loose til i know fo sho fo sho, but im confident. its like a confidence i've never felt before. i know right. determination mang. thats the name of the game. if you want something bad enough you gotsta do whatever it takes to get it. which is what i did: goin outta town, rooming w/strangers, flyin by myself, basically being totally & utterly focused you know the whole nine. i've been mia for a good month now. & i was gettin used to it. i gotta lil taste of the fun life this weekend. it was so weird to be out again. it felt soooooo GOOD. cuz you dont even understand, i totally shut myself from the world to focus. which was not easy to do but it felt right somehow. being totally detached from everything really forces you to get shit done. i'll be a lil honest tho, i had a mini breakdown right in the middle of it. i was kinda in tears for a bit cuz everything just felt so intense. i regrouped & got it together though. but this void will be filled soon & i promise not just w/alcohol. moderation will be practiced especially since a special day is comin up ;) in the meantime, im so anxious but im tryna be cool. patience baby. good things come to those who wait. i missed you world. hoped you missed me too.

half crazy

my minds gone half crazyyyyyy. & not in the cute way musiq's talkin about. the study grind is on & i have to be serious. so im takin a break. like i should. ima lay off the blog for now. cuz you guys know how i like to blog. i write a lot of shit. but that's mainly cuz i like to write A LOT. but also im goin on hiatus cuz bloggin takes forever & a day. i know i make it look EZ. & let me tell you it's NOT. ima somewhat perfectionist & it takes awhile to format & edit & re-edit & cut & paste & upload & type & think of what to type. like this blog looks easypeezy but not so my friends. so i need to cease this in order to maximize my time. someone once told me, "it's not about the time you have but what you do in that little time that counts." i really liked that quote. so now it's time to put up or shut up. ta ta for now. but i'll leave w/some parting words.....

wish me luck.....

rtb

rock the bells that is. i really really wanted to go but first comes first. there's always next year. i know i should really stop bloggin BUT i had to show this. i was doing some craigslisting for the free stuff & came across this. all i have to say psychooooooo.




he should've really just put "stalker friendless loser who couldnt pay anyone to go w/him to rtb, enticing you w/"free" ticket, no strings attached but wait you need a car to pick up my ass up. oh but dont worry im cool & only 24." i mean how stable is this person he can't even write this ad sober having to emphasize that he's going to a bar & already drunk. hahaha. people these daze. shit i really wanna go but i aint that hard up. now if your thing is meeting complete strangers & trusting that they wont do anything to you, have at it. but you're just askin for it. rock the bells sounds dope but "free" isnt always free. its just funny i had to show you. who does this????? crazy people thats who. the crazier person answers this ad. alls i gotta say is give slum village my love. they tight.

wonderful. wonderland.

another movie i cant wait to watch. 2010 baby we have time. i still wanna watch 500 days....

“One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. Which road do I take? she asked. Where do you want to go? was his response. I don't know, Alice answered. Then, said the cat, it doesn't matter.” - Lewis Carroll

the miseducation of ms hill

"ms. hill got skills, that's a gift, it's real, get ill, what you spit got the power to uplift a hill" -talib kweli

so anotha facebook note inspired post. this was the first note i posted cuz it was fun to do; like i had to think hard but a fun kinda thinking. i know you know what i mean. her cd is the one cd i could listen to hours on end w/o having to skip a number. i did that when i first got this cd til now. one of top 10 fav albums of all time. i love l boogie even though she's all crazy now.

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 10 people you like and include me (presuming I'm someone you like). You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think!

Repost as "My life according to l boogie"

Are you a male or female:
baller's lady

Describe yourself:
lost ones

How do you feel:
cant take my eyes off of you

Describe where you currently live:
every city, every ghetto

If you could go anywhere, where would you go:
to zion

Your favorite form of transportation:
that thing (doo wop)

Your best friend?
the sweetest thing

You and your best friends are:
superstar

What's the weather like:
when it hurts so bad

Favorite time of day:
final hour

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called:
all my time

What is life to you:
if i ruled the world

Your relationship:
nothing even matters

Your fear:
ex-factor

What is the best advice you have to give:
forgive them father

Thought for the Day:
turn your lights down low

How I would like to die:
killing me softly

My soul's present condition:
retrospect for life

My motto:
everything is everything

kapowski kush

i always hearted kelly. i wanted to be her cuz she got together with zack. but while i was sitting @ the airport gate PATIENTLY waiting for my flight, i turned to the seats & there was the PEOPLE magazine of SBTB renunion on the cover all glowing on a seat. it was all by its lonesome w/no one claiming this treasure. i turned to the left, then turned to the right & ya w/o thinking twice i snatched it up!!!



the best one....literally laughed my ass off...or lmao. (i hate using that btw)


but the only thing i could say bout this is GENIUS.

Tiffani Thiessen is Busy from Tiffani Thiessen