day sixxx

its friiiiiiiiday. it's truthfully saturday morning but i post date these blogs w/the right date for each day. ya its my blog & i'll blog how the fuck i want to. wow. im so cranky right now. im like caffeine crashing & sleep deprived. its me against the fobs so i choose not to go back to the room until they are snoring away. i know they thinking im "gallvanting" & too AMERICAN or something. but earlier i extended an olive branch & brought back 2 sundaes from mickey D's when i had dinner all by lonesome. it was the best part of my day. they all wanted to eat greasy filipino food again. im like hello there is more to life than filipino food, variety? try it sometime. i swear its like fobs cant fxn w/o ulam & rice at every fucking meal. i mean intend to leave here the same weight i arrive with. & i like a variation of what greasy foods i consume. there i go shit talkin again. but i stayed in the room today all by myself for a good 2 hours. i was so fucking happy. like back flipping crazy cartwheeling happy. you dont even understand. but oh ok back to the olive branch. yes being the NICE person that i am, i brought them back sundae's from mcdo, cuz they were bitching & craving them last night. see how nice i am. gawwshhh. im amazing. oh the funniest side note, i was waiting for my "sundae's" @ mcdo & the mexiCAN dude who was baggin them putting my order together kept saying, "2 saturdaze, 2 sad-durrr-dazes, here are your sadddd-durrrr-daze" instead of saying sundae's. hahahaha. i was like why is he mumbling, it's friday then it clicked, oh shit did this thick mexican accented guy make a pun. a play on words? it was like seein a unicorn. it was so lil but fuckin brilliant, i mean i couldnt even make that up if i tried. touche mexican dude. oh & since this mcdo was by the airport there was some french tourist kinda clean cut baby faced guy from amelie type guy also eating at mcdo too & he busted out his camera taking pictures of the beverage dispenser. like not just one but a couple. i shoulda offered to take a cheesy pix of him posing by it or a "candid" of him getting a drink. i totally knew what he was thinking, "oh this is why americans are fatasses." i betcha he posted that picture up on his blog with that except same caption. damn only if i knew it....... well ya i brought them back their sundaes then bounced from the room cuz i hate spending time w/them @ especially this time of nite. they remind me of my tita's who i try to avoid @ family fxns because i kno they are like ticking time bombs running their mouthes off at any time and say very inappropriate things right in front of my face which is sooo directed to me but they have this skill where its still indirect. i cant fullly describe it but thats the best way i could put it. its like shit at least wait til my back is turned and talk about me behind my back. ok enough of that, i know youre still laughin about "2 sad-durrr-daze" story. my eyeballs are so dry it hurts to keep them open. ima go rip my eyes out, shower & hit the sack cuz tomorrow we start 1 hour earlier. FUCK MY LIFE. gn.

day V

was a day. fack. all i gots to say is that im thrilled that it's over so that im excited for the next day to come & be over with & then the next one after that and so on & so forth. it just amazes me how disrespectful & inconsiderate some people can be. & by some people i mean my roommates. i think i have been tolerant, patient, considerate, all the appropriate behavior a decent person can expect. but this tolerance can only go so far. i suppose they dont know any better coming from a "different" culture and all. but shit, disrespect & inconsideration comes in the form of how people will constantly speak another language in front of me knowing full well im not properly well versed in it. i could somewhat understand but i canNOT speak this language. the one thing i full well understand are insults in tagalog. i got those down pat. like i could totally understand when someone is talking shit about in tagalog, everytime, w/o fail. its just something i've grown up with and very used to. but ya, its fuckin rude number 1. & #2 they dont even stop to explain or bother to tell me what the hell they are talking about. i know i shouldn't even care about this, but its frustrating when i have to see these people 24/7, sharing my personal space with them. i'll probly get over this tonight & be ok in the morning & then over the course of the day this annoyance will get exacerbated or inflammed that much more. i have plenty of examples to share which the written word would not do justice. i would have to video tape it & show you the live version. or maybe do a story panel board. i really am tryin to focus but its a fuckin challenge. i thought the hardest part would be the studying. thats the part i look forward to the most, if you could actually believe that. ya i cant believe myself either. ok they are very nice people but since they dont know any better its hard to put all the blame on them for their behavior. i just cant believe im surrounded by this. it feels like its toxic to me. whatevaaaaaa. im right @ the halfway mark. i have to stick it out & kill this review. fuck these bitches. you were ok at first but now you just blow. i still hope they pass. but i'll be happy this is over that i will never have to relive anything like this again. its true that you never know somebody unless you've lived with them. watch in my later posts i'll be saying i love them & we're gonna be lifelong friends. ya fucking right. i got turn on my bitch switch now & fight fire w/fire. if theyre gonna be catty, 2 could play that game. they're really nice people though if i didnt have to live with them. (i needed to have redeeeming value). i know i sound like the biggest bitch but when push comes to shove its fucking on. i just have to think of the main reason im here & tune out these crazy bitches. phew i almost feel better. my long-ass venting sesh. now i have to go back to the room hopefully they all snoring. i hope tomorrow will be more tolerable. i cant wait to read this back & see how crazy i sound. ima go use one of the bitches straighteners rye now before i have to see her in the morning. dont worry i've already asker permission. see how nice and considerate i am? mannnnng. i never felt more american surrounded by all filipinos....gn.

day quatre

it's gettin harder. im tryin my best. gettin by with caffeine & crushes. i've had a lot of blogworthy things that happened today but im too tired to bother. sorry i know. but the quote of the day, "ohhh i like your face today! make-upssss." i said, "uh ok, thanx" [insert confused look now] i should have said, "thanks bitch, as opposed to what, yesterday?" what did that even mean....i'll take it as a compliment though. you know i had to give you guys something fun, i've been gettin too deep lately. aniwais im done. gn.

day tres

im tired & we havent hit the hard part yet. its like the past days, i've had a lil warm up, started to get a jogging pace & now im at the bottom of the mountain ready to go uphill. the incline starts tomorrow. bring it on bitches. ok sooooo oh ya the life lesson i learned today is one of tolerance. i always thought i was a tolerant person but that was because i've been spoiled by being in my comfort zone. but now that i went & did something on my own, it feels liberating and so new. yesss i am meeting new people which is always good but w/these new faces comes different personalities. catch my drift. its been good so far. i mean theres no drama or nothing but as my day went by i had a little revelation, like if i was in a sitcom there would be a huge thought bubble above my head w/my voice over saying, "wow, who am i surrounded with? i am such a tolerant person. is that my stomach oh man & im hungry." just like that.

btw.........i discovered my new best friend:


ya i know this shit keeps me awake! like normally after a good hour or so it would wear off. but this keeps me up when my head would be bobbing down fighting to stay awake, mouth open and everything. it gave me caffeine high like tingly and feeling hyped. i was so wiredddd. i half the can, one half for my morning session & the other half in the afternoon. i prefer the mocha. i follow this up w/more coffee. we shall see what day 4 brings me. i have a feeling its gon be a bitch. bitchassness. haha. oh man im done. nitey nite.

day deux

is still goin. but im takin a break to blog. & chattin wit leon. ok so today was intense. oohemgeeee it was. like the one good decent pen i brought is almost outta ink & it was a fairly new pen that would normally take forever to run outta ink. that intense though. but i feel productive. :) aniwais, i need to make this short & sweet. but today i learned a huge lesson in humility. gawd damn. ok so i felt like i watching a FOREIGN movie w/o any subtitles & you know you cant understand jack shit w/o the subtitles. yaaaa thats how i felt today. i had to do a lot of head nodding & fake laughter. awkwardddd. but it was such a humbling experience. one that i will ready for the next it is bound to happen. oh man. im slowly getting closer to that finish line. cant see it yet but i know its there. wish me luck. i better get back before they think i dropped off the face of the earth. gn.

day 1

is over. & im happy. a couple more to go.

ok so im gonna be nerdy & channel NPH or doogie howser MD every nite & write about my day. ya i know youre excited bout that one. day 1 was good. i feel so accomplished already that im up here & doin my own thing. im like a grown up. although i wish this trip was more pleasure than biznatch, oddly enough im being very receptive to all this new knowledge. im learnin a lot. i feel like i've been having my blinders on for so long. like i've been wearing a really smudgy, oily, blurry pair of glasses for so long & now im getting a crystal clear view of things. like i know what i was doing wrong & now i have the tools and know how to fix it & truly succeed. im tryin to absorb everythang like a sponge. it makes someone very hopeful. to give you a feelin of how it is up here, the weather here is so bipolar. the sun would be shining so bright but the air is ice cold & windy as hell. i swear i went outside to get some air, it was hella windy & freezing by the time i went back in my fingers were frozen. no joke. also im so thankful that one of my roommates has a car. thanx GOD. but there's no time to fuck around. im pumped mang. this bitch is gettin my hopes up. i need to keep ridin that wave.....oh ya so this is where i tell you the life lesson i've learned today. first of all, the feeling of accomplishment is soooo priceless. fo realz. you cant buy that feelin if you tried. you have to earn that shit. & the payoff is one billionth fold. for those lucky people who are accomplished that's the best feelin in the world. for instance, i will feel soooooooo good, ecstatic, over-joyed, like sun beams comin outta my ass happy when i become a registered nurse in august. because i worked my ass off with a lot of determination & perseverance. & life lesson numba 2: asking "what if?" will kill you. now this can relate to everything in your life. ya know what i mean? once you ask "what if?" you are in doubt. you start to question what you already know & make things complicated when you should just stick to your gut. "'WHAT IF' will kill you!" oh & life lesson numba 3: use common sense. time to go study my ass off. this chair is so comfy btw. i could live here. good nite. til tom.

oh & just in case you forgot:

hahahahaha. i had to.

frisco focused fucked

im in frisco bitches. & its cold as a mutha up in here. my blogs will be HELLA boring because my damn laptop is being pissy & not connecting like it should. blah! so im here freezing my ass off in the hotel's computer room. aniwais, ima try to chronicle this lil trip for myself & those of you who care. the flight was like a blink of an eye. (rose you were right! but no blue chips though, damnnnn) im right next to the airport which is good. but there aint jack shit around here which blows. i decided to go explore my surroundings sans car, so i walked down the street & up the street & there wasnt shit. only to find a mickey D's & iHop. grrreat. my roommates are nice. tomorrow is day one. its on mang. i'll let you know how it goes. im so sleep deprived it hurts. goodnite.

leavin on a jetplane

i dont know when i'll be back again

that aint true, i know exactly when i'll be bawk. soon enough. but yessss, i am leavin on a jetblue plane. today. later on today. lets see, a lil bit of procrastination and birfday obligaciones still leave me to finish up packing. packing is a bitch especially because i tend to over pack. & this is a 2-week thang. not just a weekend get-a-way like im used to. im such a baby. i havent been anywhere on my own ever. let alone for 2 weeks. tryin not to sound too corny, i think some much deserved soul searching is in store for me on this trip. BUT ya im kinda excited. i dont wanna get too excited because this trip is way more business than pleasure. trust me. suffice it to say this trip was kinda chosen for me. i think it was always lurking around & found me. the outcome of this trip will somehow make a major impact on my future. deep shit huh? its the truth. im ready. im down. im there to conquer. i need to finish packing. i have a feeling i will not sleep because the sun is rising how we speak. its purdy if you wanted to know. for my stalkers, my destination = frisco. thats san francisco for the slang challenged. i will try to blog up there to let you all know wassup & give you a lil taste of my journey. ta ta for now. "meet me in mooooooontauk....."

blue jean baby, el aye lady...

a really good rendition:






i could listen to this over & over again. oooh dave.

random thought

random thoughts for july 23rd, 2009:

im in a mood. i think too much sometimes. but right now, im content, kinda blissful although at the same time im feeling "RUTHless at the moment." i feel like watchin esotsm. again. for the 100th time.









good morning or in my case goodnite.

view from the top

thats me @ runyon canyon sitting on a bench with my doggie. sike! ya, if i was a white girl & life was sowezee. this was the perfect pix from google so i stole it. aniwais, we set out on a mission to hike runyon & we came, we saw & we conquered. it feels so good after like you dont even know: your endorphins are kicking, you feel so accomplished after all that heavy panting making it to the top, all that sweat was worth it. but the best part was the view. i just loooooved it. it was bootiful & breathtaking, on the real. i gots some damn mosquito bites but its no biggie. dear runyon, i have a feeling i will seeing you over & over again. good times with good people.

something more picturesque

took my breath aaaaawayyyyy...

belalabelaaaaa

isa my love:

happy fuckin 21st birfday!!!!

cuz you the fuckin best, you the fuckin best, best i ever had, best i ever had. hahahaha. one of our many songssss. but its your 21st girl, time to live it up no matter what. it'll be all good, trust. love that we share the same love for hookahs, workouts, paintings, lakers, iced coffees...all of thee above. i kno you always my down girl. hope you have the best one today & always. kno im here for ya anytime too. i will be ready & beautified on friday to laugh my ass off like we always do. happy birfday again! enjoy your 21st, i mean it cuz it wont happen again. trust me :) looooove you foreva eva.

HOT HOT HEAT

i know this heat is gettin the best of us.....




BE COOL

progress, not perfection

i am doin progressively well so i felt compelled to blog about it. im a lil proud of myself :) MUST. KEEP. IT. GOING. but distractions are always lurking....
but my eyez are on the prize.

summa

i really really wanna watch this movie. it's been on my summer to-do list.

"fuck facebook"

ok so that was my quote when i first joined FB = facebook. (i know what you were thinking when you saw FB u thought "fubu" hahaha. ya i kno. i was like people still use "fubu." reminds me of grade school. but ya when i first saw someone use fb abbreviated for facebook i was sooooo thrown off too. dont worry you aint alone). aniwais, back to my story. yes i'll tell you at first i didnt want to join facebook. i was so hesitant. blah fuckin blah. i thought it was something new, something that's not myspace, something i'll have to learn and eventually get addicted to, my main complaint was that i didnt want people knowing every lil damn thing i was doing on FB. like "cindy _______ is now friends w/so & so" or "cindy______ commented jo-schmo's picture" or "cindy_______ is breathing" you know that shit. but i succumbed to the bandwagon and now im taking that fb ride. which leads me to my dream last nite. ya i know who does this? omg it was soooooooo dumb. estupeh actually. ok so i cant really remember details in my dreams for shit. BUT all i really remember was that in my dream im on facebook. it's like the main thing that stood out, that im on my laptop, on fb and im reading people's comments and these comments were so bad. not bad where it really means good. but bad weird. like wow. wtfack kind of comments are these. omg i cant believe im bloggin this but i am. ok its like people weren't even sounding like who they were. its like they were being haters or something. not to me personally but to the world. i cant explain this shit, its too trippy for me. why do i dream about this shit. its so ridiculous and funny, oh & STUPID. damn fb & my dreams.

lipstick killa

ok, so everytime i bust out my lipstick my girls always comment on my lipstick shape. i read in some magazine that your lipstick shape means something about your personality. ya ya for those who are make-up illiterate or if you're a straight dude, i know you're thinking this is bullshit. but its fun & girly & i looooove makeup. i still dont know why some people refuse to use it. i know it could be intimidating but that's what YouTube is for & plus the secret to wearing makeup is to make it look like you aint even wearing any. unless you like to go all out like me w/lashes & attention grabbing colors, why the hell not right. but on the make-up tip, get it? got it? good. to each his/her own though. aniwais, one night out when we were all touching up for the usual photo shoot, of course, my "flat" top lipstick was pointed out. so using someone's trusty crackberry we deciphered the connection between your lipstick shape & personality. i would say its kinda accurate but GENERALIZATIONS are usually on point. hahahaha.
fyi my lipsticks always end up to be FLAT. i dunno why. but i always end up flattening it no matter how hard i try to keep it slanted. check yours out.

high morals huh? i am very dependable & quick minded though.
ok now guess which one's mines is.......

study sesh

mornings mawnday - thurdaze

my study sessions consist of my laptop, my 10lb review book, flashcards, ipod and sunflower seeds. i study @ this hole in the wall library & i digggg it. im distracted easily so my silence is golden. i was eating sunflower seeds the other day to stay awake while takin a test & this lady kept staring @ me. now im really not sure if she was mad because of the annoying cracking sound i was making while eating the seeds or maybe she was hungry and wanted me to offer her some. what u think? aniwais, im just gonna shutup & concentrate, concentrate.....

good vibrations

ok so i've been tryin my best to ride this positivity wave & for the most part im feelin it. & it's feelin kinda good. its like if i want good things to happen i HAVE to put out those good vibes & in turn all this will manifest into good thangs for me. now i kinda evidenced this the other day; for example's sake lets say i've been really wanting to get into this "program." but because my friend procrastination never fails, by the time i went to go register, there was a long waiting list. at first, i'll admit i thought i was shit outta luck. (you dont even understand how long i've been waiting for this program to start). aniwais, so instead of being negative & pessimistic, i tried the high road. i stayed optimistic, i put out positive vibes in hopes to get a spot in this impossible/hard to get into program. & let me tell you it's easier said than done. now i know you want me to cut to the chase & tell you if i got into this program, right? the answer is yes & no. i did get into a program, just not the one i wanted in the beginning of all this which actually works out for the betta. but my point is that the "good" positive vibes are powerful. fo realzzzz. i promise. if you think positive & have good thoughts, good things will happen to you. if you're negative & can only think of things half-empty then guess what = shit happens. now dont get me started on the whole "why do bad things happen to good people" tip. im still tryin to digest that. BUT yes, people please stay up. if i could do it, you could MOS DEF. so im pretty sure you're askin where im gettin this surge of posivity? the answer is that im reading this book my best good friend suggested. GOOD. i'll plug it as soon as im done.
oh & to add onto the good spirits, i got the best fortune in my cookie the other day.
fortune cookie says: "you will have full contentment by summer's end"
perrrrrrrfect. by summer's end i will have been passed & will be celebratin my burfday.
it's all happeninnnnnnnnn.

drive

anticipation was making me weak. my boys are back!!!! finally. it aint summer til i see these boys on the weekly. love the show if you couldnt tell in the beginning. the premiere was bomb, set up what looks like a good season. sunday nights are my fave now :)

20 club

HAPPY BURFDAY CHEE!!!!

someone just joined the 20 & older club. cherish this year girl cuz after when you hit 21 it'll be nonstop madness :) but yes, happy 20th burfday!!!! hope you had a good one & many more to come. kno im here for ya anytime. loved the taboo tournament & you! haha. "game of unspeakable fun!"

#21

didnt know he had it in him...

I made a decision, despite all the things that we go thru
I’m going to take more time with you, and be a friend indeed
I made a decision, that everything will be alright
Going to stay strong and keep it tight, I’ll be there indeed

Let me talk to you, when it feels like the sun ain’t shining bright enough
It’s like the devil’s trying to work to give
And though I’m blessed, I still gotta handle of things I go through
It’s good to have a friend, with another perspective to show you
Someone you know that knows you, and gives you motivation
Someone that you can go to, and vent your frustration
We always talk about our peeps, how we be everywhere
When you need ‘em the most, are they really ever there?
See , every thing be all good when we be havin’ fun
The difference is really needing a friend than having one
It’s good when your peoples are there to help your problems
And help you smile about it while finding a way to solve it
Look at hear, let me keep it at 100 and let me tell ya
How you hold me down is something I genuinely value
I got a clearer view, and being that you’re always here for me I’ll be here for you

I made a decision, despite all the things that we go thru
I’m going to take more time with you, and be a friend indeed
I made a decision, that everything will be alright
Going to stay strong and keep it tight, I’ll be there indeed

Well, how you been baby? But I’m sayin’
Even though we probably link up every now and then
With minimal convo, look it’s real good to see you friend
Something that we allow that I don’t even have to mention
Is whether or not you got me, that’s something that I never question
Sometimes I feel that the people that I love don’t appreciate me
And some hate to see the shit I’ve been going through lately
See you was here, when it started to haywire
You’re still here, walkin with me going thru the fire
And I really love you for it, I know you all relate too
On everything that I believe and I appreciate it you
And just for that, it don’t matter you can put that on my name
The way you rep me, let me be there just for you the same
Sometimes the pressure and the pain, it be wearin’ me out
But I thank you for just bein’ there and for hearin’ me out
I got a clearer view, I thank God that you’re here for me and I’m here for you

I made a decision, despite all the things that we go thru
I’m going to take more time with you, and be a friend indeed
I made a decision, that everything will be alright
Going to stay strong and keep it tight, I’ll be there indeed

I, look in your eye, and I see the pain in it
Life’s a game, maybe the game did it
I know I changed, they say the fame did it
Life’s changed, maybe the game did it
Two friends, now in two different places
And the mister catchin’ planes, and you catching cases
Friendship, we never based it on position
No matter the game, we both shared the same vision
Decisions to split us in the place that life seemed to hit us
I would come to town and never get up, with you
Around then, things weren’t so simple
I had my own issues that I was trying to get through
Outside chatter, messing with our mental
On the chase of ?? trust, you can’t forget to
It’s the real friends, that you’ve got to tend to
No matter how far, just know that I’m with you

I made a decision, despite all the things that we go thru
I’m going to take more time with you, and be a friend indeed
I made a decision, that everything will be alright
Going to stay strong and keep it tight, I’ll be there indeed

I made a decision..

wednesday addams

yeah i loved the addams family. & addams family values. i remember when it first came out my sis, cousin & i were so excited to watch this. of course, wednesday was my fave. aniwais, its hump day but it dont feel like it. my whole day @ the beach on saturday is finally catching up with me. i was miserable yesterday. you know that crappy feeling where your body is achy, head congested, coughing up a lung. like that. but i pulled it together. it sucks though. im mo betta today. BUT some bastard stole my usual spot @ the lib where i always post up all my things!!! i mean i dont own the spot but i have been claiming it for a good 3 weeks now w/o any conflict until today. wa wa wa. i found a better spot now, & what! take that hatersssssss. oh & pls cross your fingers for me for something im tryna be positive about. im on a waiting list & i need 7 other people to drop out for me to get a spot. ya i know. im gonna put out positive thoughts though. because negativity gets old. good day.

never can say goodbye

r.i.p. michael jackson. today was the memorial. heartbreaking to say the least. dont know what you've got til its gone =(

patience is a virtue

"good things come to those who wait," or so im told. im a firm believer in how good things happen when you least expect it. i just have to practice patience through all the aspects of my life. but as far as timing goes my bestie, procrastination, is always gettin the best of me. why do i always do this to myself? but its all about timing baby. i gotsta be patient. everything will happen in its own time.

beach, booze & a bonfire

those 3 B's were how i spent this 4th of july. normally, i don't partake in this patriotic holiday but i guess this year everyone was feelin the red, white & blue. ya kno i think it was cuz the 4th conveniently landed on a saturday. so wit that said, i rolled wit the homies hella EARLY & we drove down the coast to huntington beach. now i stress early because by the time we got to the beach, it was packed as hell!! i've never ever seen the beach so crowded, as if it reached maximum capacity or something. we came too late to get a pit but we made do. it was crazy but fun. i tried to even out my mean ass farmer's tan from the laker parade but i didnt wanna add onto my dark ass tan. the results were minimal but there is somewhat of an improvement :) HA. let's see, what else: oh the water was cold as fuck i dunno how people were swimming & since we didnt have a pit for a bonfire our good samaritan neighbors were nice enough to let us share their bonfire right in time for the fireworks, of course xtal & i tried to bribe them by saying we have a kid w/us & offered all the firewood we brought. hahaha. such a lazy, crazy, beach bum day; 14 hours spent @ the beach is all i got to say. it was "the life." the last couple times i've been to ze beach was @ nite/early morn = no sun, no people, just the sound of waves [very peaceful & chill]....but this 4th was the complete opposite which was suhweet :) not a care in the world for that period of time. i really needed that because i made a promise to myself that i need to buckle down & focus for the rest of this month. aniwais, i knocked out right after i showered the beach bonfire smell/sticky icky feeling you get after spending the day @ the beach. i fucking brought half the beach home w/me, sand everywhere. my bag still smells like bonfire. but this 4th of july was delightful. good times, good beach, good people. "happy life" -fern.

btw did i mention there was a photo shoot? enjoy the rest on mi photo blog.....

[pixxx]

the hundred - some

ya i did it. and what! hahaha. this is what occupied my time on an early friday morn. that & a good hookah sesh. dont be frontin you know its fun.

snatched from FB:
rules: once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 100 truths about you. at the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. you have to tag the person who tagged you.

screw the rules, rules were meant to be broken. im cheating & posting this up on my blog.


WHAT WAS YOUR:
1. last beverage = kangen agua
2. last phone call = c-squad
3. last text message = jo
4. last song you listened to = my new fave jam, it's been on constant rotation = "decision" - busta rhymes ft. other dope people
5. last time you cried = last week when i thought about my great grandmother. RIP.

HAVE YOU EVER:
6. dated someone twice = im good @ multitasking but i havent played that game
7. been cheated on = i could safely say nope
8. kissed someone & regretted it = dont think so, actually no.
9. lost someone special = ya someone very special
10. been depressed = dont even go there
11. been drunk and threw up = yea sure

LIST THREE FAVORITE COLORS:
12. green
13. gray
14. black


THIS YEAR HAVE YOU: (2009)
15. Made a new friend = yessir
16. Fallen out of love = lets see, love is for lovers
17. Laughed until you cried = all the time, deep lunged laughter is thee best, right frack?
18. Met someone who changed you = yup, thank YOU much. you'll never know what you did
19. Found out who your true friends were = we roll deep, i know who to trust
20. Found out someone was talking about you = people are always running their mouths all the damn time when they think you have no clue....pshhhh
21. Kissed anyone on your FB friend's list = um yea :)

GENERAL:
22. How many people on your FB friends list do you know in real life = all 171 of em
24. Do you have any pets = YES!! i can actually say yes! the cutest puppy ever, cocoa chanel
25. Do you want to change your name = thats a negative; but i did when i was younger, i hated my name. but now that im grown, im satisfied.
26. What did you do for your last birthday = begas, dinner, some bar
27. What time did you wake up today = 4:30am!! [damn u, my roommate had to have a late night convo w/her bf which woke me up] then went back to sleep & woke up @ 8:30am. HA
28. What were you doing at midnight last night = watchin conan
29. Name something you CANNOT wait for = AUGUST!! its all happening in agosto.
30. Last time you saw your Mother = a couple hours ago
31. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life = i would change my current living situation.
32. What are you listening to right now = every girl - lil wayne
33. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom = some old dude?
34. What's getting on your nerves right now = this mean ass farmer's tan, i got from the laker parade. [its living proof of my laker love] & how i cant get peace of mind on this one thing.
36. Where do you want to be right now? = in my own bed, in my own room, w/my own things.
37. Nicknames = cinz, cinders, cin, kelly
38. Relationship Status = unattached
39. Zodiac sign = virgo baby
40. Male or female? = female
41. Elementary? = holy family
42. Middle School = holy family
43. High School = horny family high
44. Hair colour = dark brown w/some reddish brownish highlights by iza
45. Long or short = "hair so LONG that it looks like weave"
46. Height = 5'0 [yea im fo real, im a shorty, it sucks; if you dont believe it, why would i lie about that shit]
47. Do you have a crush on someone? maybe baby, "its cool, not tryin to put the rush on you..."
48. What do you like about yourself? my sarcasm; ok, how im thoughtful & a good listener
49 Piercings = ears
51. Righty or lefty= righty tighty

FIRSTS :
52. First surgery = none yet thx GOD
53. First piercing = ears
54. First best friend = niki
55. First kiss = 6th grade? i'll never tell
56. First vacation = does vegas count? first real one on a plane? = pinas
58. First crush = some boy who was older than me in montessori school, when i was like 4 y/o, i think his name was zack? i had the hugest crush on him :) wonder what he's up to today....

RIGHT NOW:
59. Eating = nada
60. Drinking = agua
61. I'm about to = puff the hookah
62. Listening to = right as rain - adele
63. Waiting for = my turn to puff the hookah & you

YOUR FUTURE :
64. Want kids? = yea sure
65. Get Married? = why not
66. Career? = waiting for those 2 special letters to add to my name = RN & my other dreams on the back burner

WHICH IS BETTER
67. Lips or eyes = eyes
68. Hugs or kisses = both
69. Shorter or taller= taller, who would be shorter than me
70. Older or Younger= i dont discriminate, something reasonable
71. Romantic or spontaneous = "spontaneously romantic" -bacon
72. Nice stomach or nice arms= i like going to the GUN show :) HA
73. Sensitive or loud = what does that even mean? =someone who could make me laugh
74. Hook-up or relationship = relationship i guess
75. Trouble maker or hesitant = a risk taker

HAVE YOU EVER :
76. Kissed a stranger = once
77. Drank hard liquor = i like to get loose off the goose
78. Lost glasses/contacts = have never lost em; i always bend my glasses when i wear them to sleep. i cant function without my contacts.
79. Sex on first date = u swear
80. Broken someone's heart = no im too nice for that
81. Had your own heart broken = nahhhhhh; "heartbreaker you got the best of me"
82. Been arrested = negatory
83. Turned someone down = not really
84. Cried when someone died = oh man yes, eyes puffy for days :(
85. Fallen for a friend? = um no

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
86. Yourself = yessir for the most part, im not gonna front though its hard sometimes
87. Miracles = amen
88. Love at first sight = ya i wish, in a perfect world that would be nice, but in reality lust baby.
89. Heaven = "i believe in heaven & know that i should just accept it all"
90. Santa Claus = ho ho NO
91. Kiss on the first date = maybe baby, depends on the feeling...
92. Angels = my great grandma, mamang

ANSWER TRUTHFULLY:
93. Had more than one bf/gf?= nope
95. Did you sing today? = yessir, in the car all the time
96. Ever cheated on somebody? = nahhhh, but "once a cheater, always a cheater"
97. If you could go back in time, how far would you go, and why? = what the hell, u kidding me....thats a tough one, i would say when my great grandmother was still here i would have spent more time w/her.
98. If you could pick a day from last year and relive it, what would it be? wow, lets see probly this one day in novemba :)
100. Posting this as 100 truths? = "the hundred - some" because they're missing #23, 35, 50, 57, 94, 99) weird. 100 my ass.
[im cheating by putting this on my blog, i dont care, i'll the post it on FB one of these days]


instead of studying & focusing i was doing this....FUCK MY LIFE:
distraction much??? its ok i know u were slightly entertained reading this :)

music is better with you

so i decided to start downloading "NEW" musica. its been a good minute since i even made an attempt to update my iTunes. i normally would just go on imeem to get my eargasm on because of my laziness; because you know the hassle of actually searching for all the songs you want then actually downloading them which takes foreva eva. im getting overwhelmed again thinkin bout it. but "update iPod" has been the one thing on my great "to-do" list that i havent crossed off. so i figure there's no time like the present. [actually i have thing one thing i really wanna cross off but i dont think i have enough courage to do it yet]. with all that being said, i decided to do something and show my iTunes some love. i know i've been neglecting you, i didnt mean to. music has been such a constant healer, mood setter, crutch, all of thee above. but remember cassette tapes? ugh i feel old. i remember when i was in grade school i would always have to go to sam goody or the warehouse when i went to the mall & i would always load up on cassette tapes (even those cassette singles) & then i gradually moved onto cds. HAHA. i would always make mixtapes and make my dad play them in the car or i would play them out in my room. i would like to meet the owner of this cassette tape collection in the pix, it's tight right? straight up old school status... aniwais, i recently received a new burned cd as a gift from mi amiga & i love the hell out of it. it totally speaks to me. its like how the hell did you read my mind? you're too good. im already playing it out, that's how i do. it's like those cds where u dont even have to press the next button cuz u like em all. that's rare. but there's this one song, the last song. it hits the spot. it's like i kinda get excited now on my drives just so i could play it out some more. thank u much. it'll rest safely in my collection.

twit twat tweet

ok so i joined the twitter nation. i decided to hop on that bandwagon awhile back due to boredom which just added on to my laundry list of distractions. it's cool for what it is. i think it's waaaay funner when a lot of your friends are on it. i see it as one big txting arena where you're connected to a lot more people & not having to deal w/txting charges, for those who aren't blessed w/unlimited txting. aniwais, i always hear mixed emotions about twitter. u either like it or not. the great debate is that the haters say its just one big excuse for stalking, it's boring, i dont get it, blah fucking blah. if it doesnt tickle your pickle then thats on you. BUT dont knock those tweeters who are doing their thang. & actually like it. as far as stalking goes, u have the choice to tweet about whatever the hell you want. don't post shit you dont want people to know about. sometimes i catch some tweets that are so ridiculous. i would burn myself if i gave examples. but you know what i mean. as for my take on twitter, i like it. duh. i mean im on it. its fun to follow people. it's straight to the point, no bullshit & user friendly. ok to help you imagine, twitter is all about status updates. no quizzes, no games, no pokes, no superpokes, no "how well do you know me quizzes." but to aid you visually have a taste of twitter on me:
[here is my profile page, no shame]


ok so follow me now: cinz_la

the black "to-do" list, katt williams & hoodrats

so i've watched this countless times since it came on. & lemme tell you this shit is fuckin funny. didnt know what to expect but thx to jeezypeezy pluggin this comedy show, i just cant get enough. besides its always on cable. watch it. they all good doin their thang, but i really liked aries spears & deray davis. since im so nice, i will post up not 1, not 2 but 3 of their videos for your laughing pleasure. so on point. i vanna go to a comedy show now. thank me later after it takes forever to load these videos. or not. de nada anyways.

1st of tha month

"so get up, get up, get up cash yo checks & get up...."
half the year has gone by. cant believe it either. time flies baby. i cant even remember what the hell i've done so far in the 09. nothing significant. stagnancy is frustrating. but negativity kills. i went for a workout the other day & it turned into an unexpected therapy sesh. who knew? i like. ok so i wont waste anymore words. but half the year is done & gone....we still have the other half. its the better half in my humble opinion.

p.s. my thumb has been numb for last 2 days. wtfack. i thought it was the way i slept & that i would have shook it off by now. but it still feels numby in my left thumb. like the nerve endings are dead. like member how mr. deeds [that adam sandler movie] w/his blackest black frost bitten foot. hahahahahaha. ok not THAT drastic but jus tingly numb. d mentioned that my 3rd eye is opening. if you kno what that means, that shit freaks me out. if you dont, good. but hope that aint so.

happy julio.