next lifetime

now what am i supposed to do when i want you in my world?

but how could i want you for myself when im already someone's girl...
first time that i saw you boy it was a warm and sunny day
all i know is i wanted you, i really hoped you looked my way
you smiled at me so warm & sweet
i could not speak
you make me feel like a itty bitty girl
what you do to me?

i guess i'll see you next lifetime...
no hard feelings

ok so love her & that song. the LIVE version reigns supreme though. i have a dream date to watch her live. but guess what? im gonna start to paint again. so i thought, who inspires me? ms. badu is high on the list. i got my inspiration so now i need to get some supplies and then it'll be all gravy baby. duuude, i dont know what was stopping me from painting. other than the fact i was studying for the biggest test in my life, i just didnt feel like it because i dont have my own space no more. but i got over that and now im in the mood to get dirrty & paint me some masterpieces. hahaha. painting is so cathartic. its like therapy thats purdy and waaaay cheaper. i feel so accomplished after. but my downfall is that i get picky and paint over them if i dont like em. there are probly like 4 paintings out of A LOT that i've actually saved; either i've kept or given away. ok enough of my amatuer artist status. i'll groove to ms. badu & paint a good one & i promise to show you when it's done. ps. sundaze aint THAT bad.

sunday kind of <3

im up. it's 04:45 am rye now. i became the DD so i had to keep my ass up to drive all the way home from buttfuck egypt. sleep is for the sleepy which i will be sooooooon. but for now i will tell you bout my weekend cuz i want to. ok a quick run down: watched UP w/the goddaughter, lakers advance to finals, a shortstop, free crushes, souplantation, jimmay's pad somewhere in buttfuck egypt, sweaty dancin, fuckin fucked up, se7en. nuff said. now im home awake, fack. conversed w/the kid sis since we share a room now, facebooked for a while & now i got the feeling to dabble on mi blog. sunday is a new day. good. it'll be a sober day. but sunday nights are my fave, NOT. even though im constantly surrounded by people, i feel a lil alone. wa wa womp. what a buzz kill huh? it doesnt really bum me out that much but for some stupid reason sundaze get the best of me. doesnt this make you feel all tingly inside? im feelin too honest right now. lemme stop before i start sounding like a douche. & then i'll have to re-read this and think what the hell was i thinking. so i'll end this lame talk & just say good morning. oh & i also checked my horoscope:
feelin good vibrations....

oh & some imagery

BEFORE

DURING

AFTER

so classy

fillm in the blank

its friday. thanks GOD. but may is almost over...doesnt reality bite. but i miss the missed. i miss my things. i miss my room. i miss my bed. i miss the balcony. its been awhile im so used to the status quo. whatevs it could be worse, i'll just keep tellin myself that. i just miss you guys, we'll be reunited & it'll feel sooooo good. such is life. but, since it's movie day, i'll leave you guys w/these goodies. all you movie buffs i challenge you.

i'll start off easy.

1


2


3


4


5


6



for more: http://www.filmtheblanks.com/

best i ever had

is on constant rotation. loooove that song. everyone & their momma loves that joint. its a cute song. blahhh. but it puts me in a good mood. dont kno what youre doin drake but keep that shit up. you da fuckin best, you da fuckin best. here's a lil sumthin sumthin cuz imeem sucks balls & wont play the full song. duuuummmmb. such a tease.

BUT to add onto your eargasm, im lovin this song too. the original version is best but u cant hate when lykke li & drake get together for a collabo. love her.
hands down im too proud for love...



ps. i heart shannyn.

brooklyn [you go hard]

spread love its the brooklyn way...
take me here, i wanna go to nueva york...
one day, oh yes it will happen

ok so today is friday, nuff said. but speakin of heroes, today i pay a visit to one of my heroes. this person always puts me in a good mood w/o fail. never does me wrong. hero = helen, my eyebrow lady. =) i aint kidding. having a freshly groomed eyebrow can make u feel so much better cuz i cant shape my brows for shit. i could maintain them, no problem. but there comes a point when u need serious landscaping. dude, carol could go on & on & on & on about brows. she's so obsessed. sometimes after we go get waxed i catch her checking herself out. its so funny. she's the lover of brows. hahaha. oh & we go on a first name basis too. im like "hey helen," & she's like, "hi my fren." hahahaha. helen you're my hero & you dont even know it!!!!

aint eye

my eyes are killing me right now. im sooooo gettin that lasik surgery procedure thingy when i get my health insurance again. isnt that sad. i dont have insurance. YET. like if something [knock on wood!!!] were to happen i would be shit outta luck. i have to be extra extra careful. hahaha. aniwais, ya my contacts are super dry as we speak, im closing one eye trying to facilitate a little moisture. ok ok ima go change into glasses as soon as im done bloggin. i wanna get new glasses. but so tonight was nite numba 3 of c-squad's aka colin's week long graduation celebracion. [proud of you girl!!! btw]. fuuun. kareoke wednesdays @ goodnite bar. soo chill. but ima warn you the "regulars" are fucking hardcore kareoke-ers. hahaha. like they knew every lil note & voice change. oh ya & i ended up singing too. just feelin out the place for next time. but they werent a tough crowd @ all. bunch of drunk people? yessir. good times. good company. good NITE [bar].

wicked, sweet, dope, fly, ill, phat

btw this reminds me of one of my favorite carolisms,
[carolism: something fucking funny/witty/blunt/sarcastic/brilliant/unique
said by my kid sista]

"the only thing i hate more than hella is hecka" -carol.

hahahaha. something to get us through the hump. k-town told me to keep up wit my blog & i did. =) this one's for ya. mo betta one's to come.

aint nuthin but a G thang

btw, that's G for gangsta. haha. its my girl, rose's 25th. this girl is the funniest & one of the sweetest people you will ever know. never a dull moment w/her. we're always laughing bout something stupid. thats just how we do. we go waaaaaay back. how back? 17 years back. but yes time flies but the friendship has proved strong. we'll always have stories that start off, "remember in grade school when you...." or "remember that time in high school...." loves that. but among our many common interests, the one thing we share is our love for father of the bride I & II. hahahahaha. we could quote those movies to no end. so i'll leave ya w/one of my faves: [in a weird/heavy habibi accent] "yourrr path, yourrr fence, yourrr memoooreeez..." hahahahahaha. so many memories w/u girl & more to come.

happy birhday my azn sistah!! loves ya much.

cookie's fortune

or in murs' words: if you wait too long, the milk goes sour

as far as bullshit fortunes go, this is probably one of the deepest one's i've read. the most memorable one was: "You will eat yummy Chinese food today." oh no shit. hahaha. but aniwais, the meaning behind this one speaks volumes to me. since im currently in a state of "i dont know what the hell im doin," the "what if" game or "shoulda, coulda, woulda" tricks could really start to take that toll. i almost fell into those traps. and maybe i did for a lil bit. but i know better now. i guess the time for re-evaluation & reflection are taking place. failure is my motivator. i've started to think about things i havent in a long while & revisit the ideas that i've been putting off because i wanted to focus. ya know? i'll just say that this is all a blessing in disguise to make myself feel better. btw, why do these said blessings always have to be "in disguise?" its like helllllo blessing come & get me, you dont have to hide. but i guess, its sweetest when you dont expect stuff. which i totally believe in. probably the best things in my life happened to me when i didnt expect them. so i guess there's a point. ok im rambling & not making sense. BUT ya, im taking this fortune straight to the heart. im gonna start to DO & put myself first. because i tend to accomodate & self-sacrifice cuz im nice like dat. but i gotta look out for numba 1. & know that if it aint gonna happen, i have to make it happen. btw, the other day i thought i saw someone who could've been someone i know but of course, w/my luck i only saw this person's back. it was just so weird cuz it was a crowded space & of course im drawn to this person's back. weird?? yes. but i dunno, its like everyone could look the same from the back but i just had a strange feeling. but oh well that moment's passed, it was just freaky. the best part is that person will never ever know....hahahaha. i sound like a stalker now. but you guys know i aint. oook i gotta go DO stuff, but ya read the fortune & interpret it however you want. for me it served as a big motivation because its so true. i hope it does the same for you.

hey mama

what day is today?? today is mother's day...

this is my motha mom. everyone tells me how much we look alike. i totally see it...NOT. to me there's no obvious resemblance. my aunt says that im the "carbon copy" of my mom. (btw filipinos are the only people to use the term carbon copy in comparison to another person. carbon copy is fob for the duplicate version). i guess? although im told that i act exactly like her. something like we have the same characteristics. crazy right. but ya look at my momsy, this is when she first came here from the motherland. she's so cute here all retro early 80s style. love her to death & i aint lyin. have a good day wit your mommas.

water balloon fighters, low riders & east siders

its the last day of april & im feenin for summer. guess ya know whats in my head space. maybe because ima summer baby. summer heat is a bitch but summatime & the livins EZ. the beach, vacays, breezies, long-ass days, on & on & on & on. oh & my bday! a while back someone, knowing full well that my bday is in august, once told me, "august is such a bad luck month"....i was like wtf bitch? she was just a hater. august is the shit. aniwais, maybe im feenin for summer so much cuz of this song. i fuckin love this song. everytime i hear it, it hits the spot. fo realz. like right from the get go when that chick is singing, ahhhh summertime, that's the shit right there. i heard this song on my shuffle last weekend and everyone in the car was all, "oh shit, that's the jam right there." hahaha. well something like dat. it just puts me in the best mood where you're super care free for about the 4:00 minute duration of the song. right? who's w/me on that one? i have 2 favorite summer songs & this is MOS DEF one of them. ok, i even bought the cassette tape & made mixtapes & shit. summer please come like now.

i was gonna just post the song but thought you might enjoy the video.
the best summer anthem:

why do we do what we do when we do what we do hangin out late w/no curfew?

happiness, you could model it

chew on that.

like everyone else in this rat race, i wanna be happy. honest & simple. to be exactly happy that's another thang. "exact" happiness is a whole other level that i have yet to reach but i know ima get there, one day. aniwais, yeezy tells me that there are 2 KEYS 2 HAPPINESS. the 1st key: being able to tolerate the things that make you unhappy. & the 2nd key: being able to change the things to make you happy. now if you have a low tolerance and don't have the ability to create change then there's a good chance you'll be unhappy. worrrddddd. i deserve to be happy right? we all do. even though life loooves to hand me lemons, i cant focus on bad shit. ima work on those keys. i almost lost the will to write but that was fuckin pushin it. what the hell was i thinkin? dummmb. i just wasnt feelin it for a while. u know how that is: u get all numb about things & cant write for shit. that's all said & done now. but the biggest THANK YOU to all my homies who have been there for me all the way. i know i sucked being flaky & almost hermit status, but you guys knew what was up. thanx for helping me get by. i fuckin love you guys forever & ever for that. ok kids time to get over all the crappy shtuff & paint shit GOLD.

dont worry, be =)

painting makes me happy.


& my god-daughter makes me the happiest.

hey gurl ey

happy birfday to my girl, ethel.
thank you so much for always being there. you're the bestest bestest. ima better person just for knowing you girl, i mean it. dont know what i would do w/o you. hope had a good one & many many more to come. all love girl.

do or die?

today is the day.

i will:

this time i mean it.
i've dusted myself off,
i got jude & all the <3 in the world.
its fucking on.

xtal love

happy birhday xtal.

christal or xtal affectionately holds the title of the "friend i've known the longest," since kindergarten. that's a long ass time [19 years? mas o menos] fuck i know. i member for my debut [ya i had one, which i totally regret] she was one of my 18 treasures and gave me a watch symbolic of how our friendship "stood the test of time." awwwww. it was sweet though. i always have the best gyrl times w/you. have a good one babygirl. see ya when you get back from your euro vacay. happy happy bday!!