i love that song btw. i just thought it would be fitting since ya kno. january always flies by. its the month that always escapes me. but this january 09 rivals no other. there's just been one thing after another after another and i could barely collect my own thoughts. its kinda mindnumbing. its like just when i think i have my life figured out something retarded/sad/unexpected pops up. i mean im tryin to look at it as part of the master plan where all these instances are designed to interrelate somehow. but i get it, life's hard man. "you realize that life isn’t some elaborate stage play with directions for the actors. life's a mess, sara, its chaos personified." haha, where's that from? aniwais, all i can do is stay up and im tryin my best to see the glass third full ok ok i'll give it half. BUUUUT there have been many pros that have helped to outweigh the cons. i learned that my family's blood is thicker than water, i have the bestest guardian angel ever, family fun fatty day's should happen way more often, i was schooled in the true shades of friendships and the pièce de résistance was....this deserves a drum rollll...the birthday shabangbang of one of my favoritist aquarians, thats right it aint january til its ms. colin shinns birfday bash.
HAPPY FUCKIN BIRTHDAY, C-SQUAD!!!
i love looove looooove this girl. one of the best persons i've ever known w/the biggest heart. we go waaay back. she's seen me at my best, worst and in between. thank you for everything. but there is one special bond that i hope will never fade; that is: the love for the G-SPOT. hahaha. get ya mind outta the gutter, not what you think pervs, but its for us to know & you to find out suckas. bottom line is happy birday c-squad i kno its a lil bit late but i know you understand cuz you a good friend like dat.
oh and before i continue the urbndick tells us:
hahahaha. now who would give that definition a thumbs down? anyhoo here is the pictorial view of an aquarius' birthday:
medusa's lounge (before the sweat)
that mocha crunch was good, i look evil
there's no place like... love ya girls, good call on il ristorante.
feist, 27s, & a cuppa joe comfort me on these rainy daze. i feel blah. im tryna distract myself by studying and i think its actually working. my family has lost someone GREAT. im just sad yet numb to it all. i have no words but i promised myself i would be strong. loss is nothing else but change.
"there are things that we don't want to happen but have to accept, things we don't want to know but have to learn & people we can't live without but have to let go." -anonymous
"your favorite producer's favorite producer," this one is for dilla, hip hop... the tracks we couldnt live w/o, thanx to the late great j dilla.
i can play out this list like no otha. on a good day.
im stayin up. i went on a solo mission on what seemed to be the longest nature walk of my life. i had some good quality time w/my ipod, got reacquainted w/songs i forgot existed & i discovered that working out/people watching is the perfect combo. mainly cuz you are distracted w/the constant change of scenery: nature, people, etc. im very observant & surrounding me was a plethora of people from different walks of life [pun intended]. not that im at stalker status but you could just tell a lot about people when placed in a different social setting. its like some great equalizer since everyone's getting their sweat on; some way more than others. endorphins were def kickin in. felt good, trust.
...maybe things can change if you change your view.
the ch ch ch CHANGE has happened. the transition of power has taken place. they say it's the moment that will define a generation & i believe it has, no diggity no doubt. somehow it feels surreal. we gots a black brutha man in the white house. who knew. but we were so overdue for a change. i've never felt so patriotic. you cant help but. the great inauguration that took place today is undeniable. i sat, watched & embraced it. the speeches were so on point. he kept it real. truly inspirational and empowering. ya thats right i said it. here's a little tease:
"On this day, we gather because we have chosen hope over fear, unity of purpose over conflict and discord.
On this day, we come to proclaim an end to the petty grievances and false promises, the recriminations and worn out dogmas, that for far too long have strangled our politics.
We remain a young nation, but in the words of scripture, the time has come to set aside childish things. The time has come to reaffirm our enduring spirit; to choose our better history; to carry forward that precious gift, that noble idea, passed on from generation to generation: the God-given promise that all are equal, all are free and all deserve a chance to pursue their full measure of happiness.
In reaffirming the greatness of our nation, we understand that greatness is never a given. It must be earned. Our journey has never been one of shortcuts or settling for less. It has not been the path for the faint-hearted — for those who prefer leisure over work, or seek only the pleasures of riches and fame. Rather, it has been the risk-takers, the doers, the makers of things — some celebrated but more often men and women obscure in their labor, who have carried us up the long, rugged path towards prosperity and freedom." the whole speech
fyi. this speech was crafted in a starbucks by 27 y/o, Jon Favreau, the youngest known presidential speech writer. impressive. ok i just thought i would share since im feeling the red, white and blu. ima take a page outta obama's book by dealing w/my reality and making my change happen. time to work son.
question: what is it that everybody has and some pirates & thieves try to take...
hahaha. that song just came on my iTunes. anyhoo, this 3 day weekend is ovaaa. 3 day weekendz always throw me off. dont it feel like a sunday? but since im not in school or holding down a 9-5 YET its all the same to me. dont envy me, well maybe a lil. my current occupation = bum/errand runner/picker up-er/study-er basically im the go-to person for my family. its mostly bitch work but its cool, i deal the hand im dealt. but in remembrance of MLK my kid sister & i hit the mall. we were on a mission & had a purpose so that we wouldnt get sucked into stupid sales. we did good for the most part but push came to shove and there was one sale i could not resist even though i tried to. i think of it more as an investment so its all good.
but the best part of this weekend can be summed up in 2 words = whole sheBANG. that shit is bomb. i went ridin w/my girls to boiling crab. you wont leave the same after you getta taste of this. a seafood lovers dream. its pretty much outta the way and theres always a wait BUT its sooooo worth it. its ideal for big groups i.e. friends or fam. oh and it gets messy and stuff, they even give you a bib (no joke); so dont expect to stay all cute. it just hits the spot. we came, we saw, we fuckin conquered.
as the most hyped up inauguration of all time is drawing near, there has been one name that's been popping up thru every media outlet: tv, internet, radio... that name is SHEPARD FAIREY. an underground LA based street artist, he is the creative mind responsible for the infamous iconic BARACK OBAMA's HOPE poster. he's widely known for the Andre the Giant sticker campaign (ya kno that sticker you see everywhere w/that face) not to mention the big boss man of the OBEY GIANT PROPAGANDA (art, clothing, the whole nine). google him, he's getting the well-deserved love mostly every starving artist hungers for. aniwais, here he is doin yet another interview w/the always funny stephen colbert.
fairey's always been right under the mainstream radar but now w/the success of this world renowned image, he's bringing HOPE to those who need it. this work of art was unveiled @ the U.S. National Portrait Gallery in DC on the musuem's first floor. which is like the be all and end all of portrait galleries i hear. thank you fairey because of you and OBAMA we'll be keeping hope alive. [more fairey]
its officially january 15th, the middle of the month. the first 15 days of the year are done and gone. some crazy shit's already gone down. but its cool cuz i know its always darkest before dawn. (i need to keep reminding myself that) i just finished watching eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. i love this movie. you either like it or ya dont. heres the plot if youre at all interested: a couple undergo a procedure to erase each other from their memories when their relationship turns sour, but it is only through the process of loss that they discover what they had to begin with.its just so original. its those indie type dig down deep for the meaning type love stories. i like movies like that. it makes you think. watch it and you be the judge.
anyhoo, i cant sleep. i dunno. maybe its this time of night. im such a night owl. i cant help it, i've always been. i couldnt sleep early to save my life. besides i kinda like how quiet it gets, like you feel youre the only person awake in the world while everyone else is snoozing away in lala land. i guess it just gives me time to think about thangs, people, life. sometimes i think of how i let myself become vulnerable. and how it felt unexpected but nice. i've managed to keep my guard up for so long and for the longest time i was proud of it because that meant i would never get hurt. but now that the chips are down i feel more human i guess. not that i was a robot or anything, i mean i have feelings and stuff. but i dunno. i just take them for what theyre worth. it is what it is. ok im just babbling now. i guess its true that things happen for a reason & im still trying to figure out those reasons. i mean to say im not taking things personal cuz i've gotta go and work some more. im content for now. dont know what to expect which can be scary or fun. in the meantime, i'll stay comforted w/the fact that i've found the silver lining in all of this. aniwais, when "shuffle" decides to play this song i mos def feel more human, i just listen to it for the fuck of it.
i know i'll snap myself out of it. i just gotta keep reminding myself to put first things first. wow i just realized how much "touchy feely" shtuff i wrote. so unlike me. fuck i guess i was feelin it. (i blame it on clem & joely) ok babies good morning, good afternoon, good evening and good night.
smoking just got cooler... japan rivals no other in keepin up w/the latest fashion trends & street culture. w/o fail, here is one of their newest ingenius inventions.
Quick Mobile Ashtray from Dreams,Japan, is a slim portable ashtray that keeps the cigarette butts off the ground. The inner pocket is 100% fireproof. It uses the air vacuum system to kill the cigarette fire. At the same time, it traps smoke and keeps the ash in the pocket. Easy to clean and replaceable. The body size is small and compact for any bags and pockets. Available in 5 different colors. [check it out]
that's crazy. this is for all my smoking friends. doesnt this make you want to buy one and smoke some cigs just to try it out. it goes for $26. i know i know bit pricey for an ashtray esp when my portable ashtray is the most convenient non-flammable surface = the pavement, the streets or bottom of my shoe. if i had the money to BURN, i would probly buy one. its multifunctional: its fashion, its green and it can conceal the little fact that you are a smoker. that says it all. japan is always one step ahead.
ok but more like montebello ink. hahaha. so on saturday i was thisclose to getting a new tat. i had a swwweeeet-ass hook up and everything. my girl k-town txted me bout getting a tattoo. turns out her friend was hosting this tattoo kickback thang, where the tattoo artist was gonna come over and would tat up people on the spot. he was giving the hook-up cuz he was pocketing all the cash. nice right? now i wasnt gonna go all crazy and get tatted up like this fool:
hahahahahaha. this guy gots balls. but its clever huh? aniwais, i wanted something simple on my wrist like the initials LA for my last name and the city. but i kept debating, going back and forth bout it. that shit is permanent. and plus i didnt know exactly what font and shtuff. and i didnt wanna regret something just becuz i was getting a good hook up. i called my voice of reason and heard what i needed to hear. so it was a no-go on the tattoo as much as i wanted to. thx kristina, good looks, your tat is cute btw. i will get another tattoo though. my one cross is getting lonely. but i already decided that my next one is gonna be my boyfriend's name. hahahahahahaha. i joke. i joke. gurrrrrl puhlease. i dont think so. i would never do that... but i do have something in mind though and will keep the "LA" in the running. here, i'll get one when i pass my test. that will be my present to myself. there, i said it. when i get my new tat thats when you know i've passed my test. more motivation just what i need.
friday was family fun day. when i hear the words "family fun" i think of that episode of full house. y'all kno which one im talkin bout. the one where danny calls it "tanner family fun day." hahaha. soooo in efforts to get the best ninang of the year award, i brought my 3 y/o goddaughter, kaythe, to the L.A. ZOO. fun right? educational, exciting & not as much $$ as disneyland = win/win/win. besides i've never been to the zoo so i was killing 2 birds. [no pun intended]. im always thinking ahead baby. but the zoo was coo. saw the lil birdies, the crazy-ass monkeys and other wildlife. my pix blog will tell that story. it was just nice to be one w/nature. & cute to see the zoo through my goddaughter's eyes. hands down the best exhibit was the chimp habitat. we got to see some fighting, some love-making and some wizzing. they jus doing they thang. it twas a fun day.
dear LORD, make me a bird, so i could fly far, far far away from here...
now im not one to run away from my problems, i couldnt if i tried. i dunno. im just distracted. and not in a good way. not in a fun way where youre thinkin about a boy or preoccupied w/the night's social activities. and not in a "im worried about my future way" where im stressing about my dreaded NCLEX test. [ok maybe im kinda distracted by some of those things]. but i just feel uneasy. normally i could just shake it off but its not that simple this time. there's this ripple effect thats taking place. i dont know how much more vague i could be about this situation and still vent about it. but you know me, i treasure my privacy as you all should. but i'll tell you one thing, BIGGIE was right: its like the mo money we come across the mo problems we see.hahahaha. true though. i know its just gonna take time. time will be the healer or destroyer...we will see.
aniwais, somedays like today i sit and wish it was like this. when i rocked my pig tails and cheryl rocked her fro. ...not a care in the world.
my 1st trip to disneyland? i think we're sitting on main street, waiting for the parade to start. thats the 4 y/o me and manang cheryl. i dont know why my parents taught me to call her "manang" as if she was decades older than me. life wouldve been easier if they taught me to call her "ate." but they didnt. now sometimes i call her "manang" and she cringes becuz she hates that. the story behind that is in grade school, (i was in kindergarten, cheryl was in 2nd grade) my grandpa was picking us up from school, i yell at the top of my lungs across the playground to my sister where she was hanging out w/her cool older friends, "manang!!! grandpa's here!!!!" and all her friends start clowning on her calling her "manang" too. i didnt kno how much chaos that was gonna cause. i was young and didnt know the rules of "cool" yet. but it made for a good memory.
still feels like christmastime in january. well almost. more good times w/this fambam. a gift exchange, potluck and a dark knight. the boyz were surgically attached to xbox ...typical... while the girls were busy chismis-ing and getting heated over a game of TABOO. love that game.
check us out:
hahaha. im so kidding, not us. but that fun.
im happy tho i gots my circle scarf from american apparel (thx secret santa isa). now i have to figure out how to rock this bitch. i kno its a long tube of fabric but i dont care. its cute, i like it. mines is navy.
thanx guys, it was a good way to start off the new year. too bad no one got carol the snuggie she really wanted. oh well next year it is. dont worry sis maybe i'll surprise you cuz im nice like that.
taken from one of the most relevant references of our times. yes, the beloved urbandictionary. here's their "dope-ass" tagline: Urban Dictionary is the slang dictionary you wrote. Define your world. could be informative at times. BUT WARNING to those who arent verbally up-to-date (just because i care): do yourself a favor, dont sound stupid and say any term you think would sound "dopalicious." (see what i did there?) correct usage is critical. sometimes, the urban dictionary is not enough, you need to consult the proper authorities or else you will act a fool, and who wants that?
but check it out, you might learn a few things or just laugh: urbanDICTIONARY.com
don't it always seem to go that you don't know what you've got 'til it's--GONE. joni mitchell neva lies.
sometimes bad things happen to good people. there's no rhyme or reason. shit just happens. like when people lose their house and belongings in a fire. personally, im no where near the vicinity of that emotional pain but it just drives my point. the trick: to not fall into the trap of self-pity asking, "why did this happen to me?" the true test is what you do when life hands you lemons: are you gonna surrender to the pressure? or are you gonna paint shit gold? easier said than done, uh yeah. but only the strong survive. suffice it to say something bad happened. bad enough that we had to call the 5-O. very unfortunate, yes. but it couldve been worse. it forces you to realize the value of everything you have and re-evaluate what actually has worth.
we're gonna rise above and soldier on cuz life's too short... it starts off w/a healthy point of view: [take your pick]
when it comes to new years resolutions im pretty indifferent. its all good when you get all motivated to make goals and plan out the new year but more times than not they dont pan out. i mean it's different for everyone. by all means do what you gotta do. to each his own. this year i have my own personal resolutions im determined to keep. i've noticed though the #1 top resolution i always hear is....(drum rollll): to quit smoking. i take my hat off to all you brave souls. this is not to be taken lightly. its one thing to say it and another to actually do it. cold turkey or patchin it; this is a big undertaking, but it can be done. stay strong friends. but i have some smoke for thought taken from complex before you go all the way. ps. this is NOT a typo.
7 Reasons Why Smoking Is Great
Cigarettes purchased in the United Kingdom will show photos of cancerous lungs and throats as well as rotting teeth, to help pump up written warnings like “Smoking clogs the arteries and causes heart attacks and strokes” and “Smoking will kill you,” which currently grace packs of British fags (sorry, couldn’t help ourselves). One in six people in England smoke, and the government has been stepping up measures to cut that figure down. But what they, and a bunch of organizations here the U.S., don’t realize, is that people smoke for a variety of reasons. While dying sounds bad and no one wants to walk around looking like that lady with no fingers, there are things that anti-tobacco lobbyists can’t mess with. So dear Britain: we’ve prepared a list of what you’re really going up against. Check out the reasons why cancer-sticks will live forever below…
#7: SMOKING MAKES YOU COOL
Badasses smoke. Gangsters smoke. Pussies don’t. Unfortunately, that’s life. Throwing caution to the wind kind of goes directly in contrast with knowing facts and being aware of one’s surroundings. There are a lot of douchebags who smoke, but guess who their heroes are? You’re going to have to get rid of soldiers, rock and rollers, and hit-men if you want cool smokers taken out of popular culture.
#6: SMOKING HELPS YOU MEET CHICKS
If you’ve ever been to a bar or a club or one of the “no smoking in public places” states, you know that there are always people outside having a cig. It’s a break from all those drinks and the loud music inside. “Oh hey, there’s a hot girl. Oh. She’s going outside to smoke. Maybe I can introduce myself to her while we have a cigarette and then I can grind up on her in the club.” Bang-bang!
#5: SMOKING KEEPS YOU FROM GETTING FAT
You know those people who say, “I’ve gotten a little chubby since I stopped smoking”? Maybe we’re mixing them up with our friends who “used to do a lot of coke,” but cigarettes do actually cut down on your appetite. Just like sucking on the tailpipe of a Camaro or taking a bong hit of fiberglass, all those thousands of chemicals make you feel full, so if you’re a model or want to be one, at least you have a defense when a Truth spokesman spits in your face.
#4: SMOKE BREAKS ARE AWESOME
Say you work a 9 to 5. That’s an eight hour day. Your average smoker takes two breaks at about fifteen minutes each, which is a half hour of not working per day, 2 and a half hours per week. Which is awesome. People don’t like working, and cigarettes are a great way to not work. The math on this one is complete.
#3: SMOKING HELPS YOU PREPARE FOR THE CHINESE TAKEOVER
Remember all those weird sports that were on TV this summer? That, my friends, was the dawn of a new era. Those billions of people are going to take over the world, and guess what their two favorite things are, besides laughing their way to the bank with your money? Pollution and cigarettes. Smokers are going to fit in better and they already got that cough down for when the economic apocalypse hits level 8.
#2: GIRLS WITH SMOKER’S VOICE ARE SEXY
Ladies that reek of smoke suck, but there is something about that raspy, “I’ve been up all night and all day and all night again” voice that really gets us going and makes us kind of hope in a halfway twisted way that some of those ladies keep going at it. A whole CD of Tom Waits cover songs sucks, but without the smoker’s voice it’s unbearable.
#1: CUTTING OFF YEARS OF YOUR LIFE IS A GOOD THING
They say smoking takes years off of your life, but what years? Who wants to live to be 100 anyway? Let death come and kick down the door when you’re 70, nooo problem. Then you can go first and not have to deal with going to all of your friends’ funerals.
intrrresting... dont shoot the messenger, its THE TRUTH aint it?
...and real pain for my sham friends. -monty brogan.
some mood music:
how i spent my nye.
nah. there was waaaay more liquor than that. haha. new years eve, its like a rule to drink or at least celebrate. my nye was spent @ a niiiice ass pad in marina del rey. the bar was pretty sweet. i had the biggest deja vu though. everything and everyone felt the same as if it was like last years celebration. wait a minute... hahaha. but i drank myself to a really good buzz, partied w/good people, had memorable moments w/both shinns and crashed at bbank again. no scars this year thanks GOD. its gonna be a good year.
i had to add this fr. jackos blog: (too funny, you said it all)
"highlights of the night: peessh juice. 3 girls and a gay guy in the bathroom. sitting down & throwing up into 3 party cups in a row. waking up stranded & dreaming about what i want for breakfast. cindy getting tapped while hearing kristine's mom say where's my daughter??" this is how i really spent nye w/these pretty people: [NYE pix]
25. virgo. RN, bsn. ride or die. a work in progress. listener. doer. believer. observant. loves lashes & god-daughters. smell of a freshly lit match. thursdaze. imperfection. b-sides & rarities. pretty green. baby cologne. garage sales. gyrl times. txting. late nights. the g-spot. the beach. purple & gold. swap meets. open bar. long walks. blackest black. coffee. free cover. seshes.
